Love, Lust and Marriage

the unspoken words
if spoken
that graceful feeling
will the kindness ever last?
the silence and touch
if broken
the solo sailing
in the unchartered waters
drowns in the storm

the unspoken words
if spoken
that invigorating feeling
will the rawness remain pure?
the silence and touch
if broken
the thrill of anticipation
when our blood gushes
douses in the mundane

the unspoken words
if spoken
that dreaded feeling
will the impasse ever pass?
the silence and touch
if broken
the shared moments
where we faced the odds
comes to nothing

Nothing happened

It was lit but maybe it wasn't
fluorescence merged with the night
The mood was ecstatic without the high
and it started but nobody knew why
We two were Thomas Hardy's natives
as we chased them up the hill
Heard them run down and giggle
It was a new dawn in the shades
We were free in the chasing spree
But the light showed the other's face
We saw something we didn't feel
Ashamed we were Tolstoy's characters
for the thought crimes though not real
"Let's stop and sit here"
So we said unto each other
and we stopped and sat forever

Two OBCs

Non descriptive was the day they met
Those two Malayalis who knew the
Long journey of their ancestors
Born to lower castes though
Skimmed away they remembered
The pain
Ashamed at their castemen's
Delusion to win a  game of
Self-styled winners
Their historical knowledge and
Analysis of the system
Converged and matched
Was there a dream of charting a
New path with these two buddies?
To break the system one has to marry
Outside but the upper or lower
That's the tricky part
I know about that and
Found no answer to that
Conundrum
I would marry a girl of my caste
There doesn't exist dilemma
of any sort
Listen to your instincts
Gives you an unadulterated
Choice
But we carry so many prejudices
That can overwhelm the instincts
The prejudices need not be caste specific
I like girls with hair bob cut
You like newsreader type of girls
All stiff and expressionless
He detected a grimace on his face
And disgust in the voice
Taken aback tried to give respect
To his choice
I liked the bob cut girl in the ad I forgot
Who when trapped in a lift
Danced to a tune in free spirit
Or that bob cut girl in that VIP ad
Who gavotted with a suitcase
Defending himself he knew
It was stupid
But there was no looking back
For the other had made up his
Mind
There was never going to be
Two buddies
Changing the course

Good death

Let the hair recede to an extent
that I don't bother styling the rest
Let the teeth decay so numerous
that the brushing becomes a waste

Let the libido laid at rest

that the desire becomes placid

Let the cancer wring my throat

that the food becomes forceful
Let the eyesight diminish so much
that I perceive no beauty
Let the body get paralyzed
that I can't wander in solitude
Let many hopes get dashed
that I don't dare to dream any more
Let I become a complete burden
that near ones eschew my presence
To that state where the line is blurred
between life and death
To that state where the transition so smooth
that it doesn't feel exist
I want to reach before I die

Aging as it should be

Have I ever felt it or even noticed it
I'm all set to overcome the youth
facing the years never ever flinching

In paternal mode with lowered testosterone
And the westermarck has kicked in
to my amazement  embracing everyone

With a smile on the lips like a blown rose
With the semi-closed eyes saturated in knowledge
the face perceives none of the failings of the youth

the eyeing that corners
the smile that captures
the blankness that deepens
the presence that unsettles
the entity that resides

Statistically Inclined Mind

Encountering an avalanche
As I climb up the Everest mountain
Drowning in a whirlpool
As I dive into the Pacific ocean
Losing way in darkness
As I wander in the forests of Amazon
I'm unafraid and calm
As probability is nil that these ever happen

In the ailments
To which I'm statistically disposed
No hope and solace
As god is statistically insignificant
My probability values
With people around so I calculate

Every heart attack
that I come across
Every diabetic
that happen to know
I silently thank
the victims of my age
For they sacrifice themselves
to reduce my chances
of being part of the percentage

Car's Victimhood

Dented
by a falling tree branch, bike, SUV, bus
Scratched
only those immobile pillars

Or Not

I see him working day and night smiling
Helping men without any misgiving
Merry making by dancing and by fighting
I wonder does he know or only pretending

Behind him some education that he has left
But what matters is what he has not learnt
They have made it clear those school years
He has only limitations and hardly any skills

In prime of his youth, but not a daring lover
But he'll get a wife , kissed she has never
It would be stable the family still ever
For the broken heart she has to get over

Youth he has never felt, may so when it is ripe

Privileged are his friends building a new life

He can only repair his until the day he dies
Everything that fell apart in growing up years

Sorrowful Song

Long ago the world was ideal
but soon it turned out to be a hell
Now you reminisce the ideal you
Do you sing the time longingly?

Long ago you were brave and living
but the great aplomb came to nothing
Now you reminisce the brave you
Do you sing the time defiantly?

Long ago you were full of faith
but it drove you to shameful depth
Now you reminisce the faithful you
Do you sing the time solemnly?

In your sorrow and in your pain
can you invoke so many a emotion?
Insincere will your song prove to be
if it's not just a cry but a medley

Unrequited Lust

On peak of my happiness
Counting my blessings
Life on cruise mode
No more fear of failures
and regrets of any kind
I was living my age

I saw those eyes after a decade or so

We talked about our gentle past
I gyrated around a place we went

We saw, travelled and ate, I joked
We went out together never on a date

You never asked me out
Pressing those eyes she said
Intemperate were your word and stare
My hopes were you would dare
To shake a leg with me in dim light
To watch a movie in a corner seat
In those days had but one wish
Two of us together in dark bliss
I wasn't at all prude and fine
Shamelessly gave hints in vain

I was a believer ready to burn
But waiting for a share of my sin

Oh! It's all so pointless looking again
Neither you nor I can ever begin
Nothing defined us and nothing limited
So natural that never would be
She stopped and stared blankly at me
Embarrassed and confused we parted

I had struggled but killed the man of mountains
Convinced that I was born to swim
She came and resurrected the mountains
And I realized that man was the same
I was living my age

Note: Partly inspired by this blog post.

Lost Thought

There rose a thought
A blown flower

Flowing bliss
Like a trance 
I felt pleasant
A real content

Future is certain
Past laid rest
Then it vanished
In a flash
And I wrote this