Chinese lessons

Chinese are no longer overawed by Indians' mastery over English. On the contrary, now it appears they want to atone for their inferiority feeling vis-a-vis Indian English.
[Chinese]: It's tough to follow your accent.
[I]: he he he
[Chinese]: I asked my colleague how to follow Indian English and he told me there were three rules.
[I]: A-ha...
[Chinese]: You don't say -t- but -d- instead.
[I]: Is it?
[Chinese]: Say, "interesting"
[I]: iMTresTiG
[Chinese]: Yes, Yes. There you go, iMDeresTiG
[I]: < That must be my Dravidian tongue. We are supposed to use 'voiceless' form in the beginning of a word and 'voiced' form in the next part. > Okay. So, what is the second rule?
[Chinese]: You don't say -c- but -g- instead.
[I]: huh...
[Chinese]: You don't say 'come' but say 'gum'. Say 'come'.
[I]: kam
[Chinese]: < brightening > You see... gam .
[I]: < Now that is a googly. That defies my Dravidian tongue too. I should be natural in pronouncing voiceless velar instead of voiced velar in the beginning. > And the third rule...
[Chinese]: Say 'Mary'
[I]: myArri...Did you mean mEri
[Chinese]: mEli! You don't say 'r' but use 'l' instead.
[I]: < How can my rhotic ever be misunderstood for alveolar lateral approximant? > That is tricky ...ha ha ha..
[Chinese]: Oh! Trrrr......